Saturday, April 10, 2010

My 30 Day Challenge to trust my Father God

I want to trust my Maker with my heart, my life, everything.
It's hard to put your hand into the hand of Someone you can't see.
It's difficult to keep taking steps forward when you aren't hearing the voice of Someone guiding you.
It's not easy to live your life to the tune of another world you don't see, when most everyone around you is living their life by what they see and hear and feel.

Especially when there aren't rules to how to live this life. I can try to make rules for it, but then I end up living in religion. Living by the law. Which is what I did my whole life. It's freeing to live by the Spirit, but also difficult and confusing for me to figure out what that looks like!



(I want to be like a baby, with COMPLETE peace and assurance in my Daddy.)


I'm quite sick of living in so much fear. Fear of what I will do if this happens, or what I should do if that happens. It's just wondering and worrying about the stupid little word IF.

I've lived in a ridiculous amount of fear since I was little, I've said I was sorry, tried to not live that way, and did it yet again. But, when I see my children reacting and responding out of fear, that really bothers me. This is not something that I want to pass on to them. Yes, I may be confused about how to live my life, but I don't want them to grow up with confusion, doubt, etc. I want them to start out with the peace that I am still searching for.

And the thought occurred to me, "It takes 21 days to break a habit."
I grew up living in fear. It is a way of life for me. I can repent of it all I want, but something has to change. I have to learn how to live differently.

So, I'm going to take a 30 day challenge. I am going to try to make myself completely aware of all of the times throughout the day when I am tempted to fear. Instead of listening to the lie of fear, I will replace it with the truth.

Because the truth is that Every good and perfect gift is from above. The truth is that God wants good things for us. The truth is that God wants us to live in victory HERE ON EARTH. The truth is that God will work everything into good. The truth is so much more than I am able to grasp right now.

My view of God is that He can do everything and anything, but He doesn't want to do it for me. He might step in and help me if He thinks I REALLY, REALLY, need it, but He wants me to figure out everything for myself. But that's not true! I want to quit living life realistically. I want to quit being self-reliant. I want to walk in faith and live by the Spirit. Exciting, fun, and a huge adventure.

Here I go...................................Day One starts...............NOW!!!!!!!!


Thanks to pdphoto for the photo.

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